There are so much that have been said about
couples’ sexual conduct while fasting especially in this time of the year where
we have prolonged days of fasting from different religious assemblies. Some declare
21 days, some 14 days, some even 40 or 50 days. According to 1 Corinthians 7:5,
“Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give
yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does
not tempt you because of your lack of self-control”. This literarily is
believed to mean, anytime there is fasting, sex aka “congo” can’t happen!
Kindly pardon my line of thought on this, because I have a slightly different
opinion, not as an express instruction from God but as a believer like Paul
that has the spirit of God too.
First of all, sex during fasting is as
persuaded and agreed by every individual couple. But if we are to go with the
bible, apostle Paul asked us to stay away from sex so that we will be able to
focus on fasting and prayer but with this clause, “for a short while so that
devil won't tempt us”. If you ask me sirs, 21 days, 30 days or 50 days could be
too long a period to abstain from sex especially if you are less than ten years
in marriage and depending on your sexuality history before marriage. I am pointing
this out so that the infidelity that Paul tries to prevent doesn’t happen eventually.
However, length of abstinence is a relative issue! Every couple need to figure out
among themselves on how long abstinence should be between them.
There are some people, if they want to fast
the following day for example, they can't have sex the night penultimate. If they
do, they are likely to lose concentration in the fast especially if they did a
good job in bed….I mean a good job because the next 24 hours thereafter, they
have not recovered from the experience that keeps playing in their heads and
that could be distracting. It may even interest you that there had been times some
of these people have had to break their fasting before time because they wanted
to have a repeat of the pleasure they had the previous night!!! But that was a
level in some marriages and I want to believe we have more of such around us.
For some people, they are at a level whereby
when they “congo” even if it is 1 a.m. they must get out of bed to eat again irrespective
of the size of meal they had for dinner. That was also a level. It may interest
you to know that some people after sex feel very weak, and worn out especially
those couples who do well over an hour of “congo”. With that kind of length and
energy expended, such might need to slow down a bit to be able to conserve their
strength and energy levels for the next few days of the fast if it’s one of
those long fasts.
Some couples don’t even feel any impact.
Congo is as normal for them as any other thing we have around, so they are just
good to go. The most important thing is to know what works for you as a couple and
what keeps you focused to give both of you maximum result from the fasting. Or
what’s the point in fasting for days while your heart is drifted away to
something else and your spirit keeps grumbling and waiting for the 30 days to
be over? That’s absolutely a waste of time!
But as my understanding grew on some things,
I began to see things in a different light which is the core of this write-up.
Is it right for you to have sex while fasting? Let me ask you a very sincere
question according to the bible passage above; can you decide in isolation to
abstain from sex even though you can decide to fast without putting your
partner into consideration? NO, you can’t because sex is not only about you,
says 1 Cor. 7:3 & 4 but much more about your partner. It therefore means if
you can’t decide on your own to go off sex thereby depriving your spouse of the
benefits, but you can unilaterally decide that you are going to fast, then I
think the wisdom here is that couples can fast and still decide to have sex in
between. It's not only possible but it is doable. Hey, according to bible,
fasting only entails abstinence from food and at some points, water. There is nowhere
bible recommended sex fasting. So, can Christians have sex while
fasting? In my opinion, it’s up to you and your partner, nothing is cast
in stone. You have to either agree to have sex while fasting or do
otherwise depending on what your strength and conviction can accommodate.
Secondly, I decided to combine two spiritual
things together which is Sex and fasting and came to a spiritual conclusion as
well. Sex is powerful and at the same time spiritual. 1 cor. 6.16, “Do you not
know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For
it is said, the two will become one flesh.” Christians are blessed to have a very
blunt and practical God that originated sex. Depending on your understanding
about sex, I am of the opinion that there wouldn’t have been a better time for
sex if not during a fast because of its spiritual implication. For example, if
you as a couple is trusting God for something desperately, I think combining
sex with fasting (if you can and depending on how you see sex) could bring a
speedy result. What a very terrible agreement right? I know it sounds somehow
but then.....
How does it happen? Let's assume you are
fasting today, you can also “congo” in between before you break it. When the
penis is inserted into the vagina, just before you begin to thrust in and out, while
the penis still remains strong in there, you both hold hands, pray a prayer of
agreement right there. When you finish praying, begin to thrust and do whatever
you feel like with each other. When you reach your climax and ejaculate, give
thanks and continue your fast. Sex is spiritual, fasting and prayer are
spiritual and the three have been combined. It is just like your wife and your
mother decide to come in agreement to be praying for you…wow!
And for those who may not be able to handle
this, sex can happen after you break in the evening before the following
morning. But some people can't handle this because they have got to stay within
their levels of strength, grace and understanding; they have not sinned. But
for either of the couples to completely go off sex for days and weeks because
of fasting is a bit odd.
#RealitywithTID
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