Wednesday 20 January 2016

Do Sex & Fasting Go Together? YES!!! #RealitywithTID


There are so much that have been said about couples’ sexual conduct while fasting especially in this time of the year where we have prolonged days of fasting from different religious assemblies. Some declare 21 days, some 14 days, some even 40 or 50 days. According to 1 Corinthians 7:5, “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control”. This literarily is believed to mean, anytime there is fasting, sex aka “congo” can’t happen! Kindly pardon my line of thought on this, because I have a slightly different opinion, not as an express instruction from God but as a believer like Paul that has the spirit of God too.

First of all, sex during fasting is as persuaded and agreed by every individual couple. But if we are to go with the bible, apostle Paul asked us to stay away from sex so that we will be able to focus on fasting and prayer but with this clause, “for a short while so that devil won't tempt us”. If you ask me sirs, 21 days, 30 days or 50 days could be too long a period to abstain from sex especially if you are less than ten years in marriage and depending on your sexuality history before marriage. I am pointing this out so that the infidelity that Paul tries to prevent doesn’t happen eventually. However, length of abstinence is a relative issue! Every couple need to figure out among themselves on how long abstinence should be between them.

There are some people, if they want to fast the following day for example, they can't have sex the night penultimate. If they do, they are likely to lose concentration in the fast especially if they did a good job in bed….I mean a good job because the next 24 hours thereafter, they have not recovered from the experience that keeps playing in their heads and that could be distracting. It may even interest you that there had been times some of these people have had to break their fasting before time because they wanted to have a repeat of the pleasure they had the previous night!!! But that was a level in some marriages and I want to believe we have more of such around us.

For some people, they are at a level whereby when they “congo” even if it is 1 a.m. they must get out of bed to eat again irrespective of the size of meal they had for dinner. That was also a level. It may interest you to know that some people after sex feel very weak, and worn out especially those couples who do well over an hour of “congo”. With that kind of length and energy expended, such might need to slow down a bit to be able to conserve their strength and energy levels for the next few days of the fast if it’s one of those long fasts.

Some couples don’t even feel any impact. Congo is as normal for them as any other thing we have around, so they are just good to go. The most important thing is to know what works for you as a couple and what keeps you focused to give both of you maximum result from the fasting. Or what’s the point in fasting for days while your heart is drifted away to something else and your spirit keeps grumbling and waiting for the 30 days to be over? That’s absolutely a waste of time!

But as my understanding grew on some things, I began to see things in a different light which is the core of this write-up. Is it right for you to have sex while fasting? Let me ask you a very sincere question according to the bible passage above; can you decide in isolation to abstain from sex even though you can decide to fast without putting your partner into consideration? NO, you can’t because sex is not only about you, says 1 Cor. 7:3 & 4 but much more about your partner. It therefore means if you can’t decide on your own to go off sex thereby depriving your spouse of the benefits, but you can unilaterally decide that you are going to fast, then I think the wisdom here is that couples can fast and still decide to have sex in between. It's not only possible but it is doable. Hey, according to bible, fasting only entails abstinence from food and at some points, water. There is nowhere bible recommended sex fasting.  So, can Christians have sex while fasting?  In my opinion, it’s up to you and your partner, nothing is cast in stone.  You have to either agree to have sex while fasting or do otherwise depending on what your strength and conviction can accommodate.

Secondly, I decided to combine two spiritual things together which is Sex and fasting and came to a spiritual conclusion as well. Sex is powerful and at the same time spiritual. 1 cor. 6.16, “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, the two will become one flesh.” Christians are blessed to have a very blunt and practical God that originated sex. Depending on your understanding about sex, I am of the opinion that there wouldn’t have been a better time for sex if not during a fast because of its spiritual implication. For example, if you as a couple is trusting God for something desperately, I think combining sex with fasting (if you can and depending on how you see sex) could bring a speedy result. What a very terrible agreement right? I know it sounds somehow but then.....

How does it happen? Let's assume you are fasting today, you can also “congo” in between before you break it. When the penis is inserted into the vagina, just before you begin to thrust in and out, while the penis still remains strong in there, you both hold hands, pray a prayer of agreement right there. When you finish praying, begin to thrust and do whatever you feel like with each other. When you reach your climax and ejaculate, give thanks and continue your fast. Sex is spiritual, fasting and prayer are spiritual and the three have been combined. It is just like your wife and your mother decide to come in agreement to be praying for you…wow!

And for those who may not be able to handle this, sex can happen after you break in the evening before the following morning. But some people can't handle this because they have got to stay within their levels of strength, grace and understanding; they have not sinned. But for either of the couples to completely go off sex for days and weeks because of fasting is a bit odd.


                                                                                                      #RealitywithTID

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